I was watching "Meet The Press" yesterday and saw Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff discussing Hurricane Katrina, the evacuation, the mismanagement and the ensuing chaos.

 

So I got to wondering how we're supposed to evacuate Cleveland. Well, the city of Cleveland website has that covered.

 

http://www.city.cleveland.oh.us/emergency/downtownemergencyevacuationplan/dowtownemerevacind.html

 

Most of it is what you'd expect. Stay calm. Follow instructions. Don't wet yourself. One thing that I found funny is at the botton of "Evacuation FAQ" under "What about parking facilities?" Apparently, in case of emergency, disaster or terrorist attack, the parking facilities have "agreed to release vehicles without delay at the gates." That's nice of them to "agree" to that. I can't really imagine what kind of parking lot attendant is really going to stand their post and take my parking stub when the radiation cloud is bearing down on us.

 

Also, under "Are You Ready? A Guide to Citizen Preparedness", they had some interesting tidbits about what to do "during" a nuclear attack.

 

  1.  Do not look at the flash or fireball-it can blind you. I've seen "True Lies" thank you very much.

 

  2. If you hear an attack warning:

 

          * Take cover as quickly as you can, BELOW GROUND IF POSSIBLE, and stay there unless instructed to    do otherwise. Unless instructed by irradiated mutants, then you probably want to stay below ground.

          * If you are caught outside, unable to get inside immediately, take cover behind anything that might offer protection. I'm looking for Jimmy Dimora Lie flat on the ground and cover your head.

          * If the explosion is some distance away, it could take 30 seconds or more for the blast wave to hit.

 

  3. Protect yourself from radioactive fallout. If you are close enough to see the brilliant flash of a nuclear explosion, the fallout will arrive in about 20 minutes. Just long enough to make my case for being good breeding material for the "re-population." Take shelter, even if you are many miles from ground zero-radioactive fallout can be carried by the winds for hundreds of miles. Remember the three protective factors: shielding, distance and time.

 

  4. Keep a battery-powered radio with you, and listen for official information. Follow the instructions given. Local instructions should always take precedence: officials on the ground know the local situation best.

 

Actually, as far as disaster preparation manuals go, I guess it's alright. Seems comprehensive enough. Hopefully, I never have to find out is any parking lot attendant is manning their post to the bitter end.

Boy, that's pretty morbid! The way your e-mail started, I was expecting to read something about a hurricane whipping up from Lake Erie -- not a WMD incident.

That's been there for quite some time - most tenants in any of the major office buildings had to learn the basic evac routes.

"Duck and Cover"

"Stop, drop, and roll" ...wait...

 

 

This is kind of funny stuff, but I guess its good to know. I doubt this would have helped the Katrina evacuation much, however.

"Stop, drop, and roll" ...wait...

 

 

This is kind of funny stuff, but I guess its good to know. I doubt this would have helped the Katrina evacuation much, however.

 

Getting closer to the water when facing down a Hurricane is always a good idea.  :|

Trick question.  Cleveland already is a disaster.

So was that attempt at humor.

So was your attempt at a comeback.

It wasn't intended to be a comeback. It was meant to be a kind way of telling you to measure your words carefully.

Your intent wasn't clear, thus it was an assumed comeback to a "joke."

I've seen pics of both of you... put a sock in it, kids.  :whip:

What are you, an elder? I will put a sock in it, since there is no need to belabor my point that I didn't like ColDayMan's (or anyone non-local's) joke about Cleveland. Don't you know, it is written in blood that only we Greater Clevelanders can make a joke about our city? Although I'm not sure what the rest of your message means, MayDay.

Trust me, ColDayMan gets a pass on this one - he's taken too many good pics of Cleveland, and has spent most of his life savings at Gillys in Little Italy.

 

So, 23-Skidoo, bub!  :-D

I've seen pics of both of you... put a sock in it, kids.  :whip:

 

And we've seen you, Matt Damon...in 30 years...

Whoa! Did I make a wrong turn and end up on Detroityes.com?

I thought posting about disaster preparedness might be kind of entertaining, but damn! I check back in and people are throwing down! :shoot: I don't think they covered how to quell civil unrest on the website.

 

There never will be, Greenboy!

This ain't no throwdown. Whenever I snap my cap, that's when the disaster evacuation drill comes in handy! Given my finances, it might be time to brush up on that drill. Sorry my sense of humor sucks lately, but that's why...  :evil:

So you're broke?  Like Cleveland?  Interesting correlation.

Again folks, it's harmless jokes.  The Admin and Mods of UrbanOhio do not represent the humour of ColDayMan.  And KJP is a valuable asset to this forum.  Except...well...the train/transit/urbanism shits got to go.

^yeah, there's no room for transit advocates in ohio.

You kids are too funny!  :-)

^yeah, there's no room for transit advocates in ohio.

 

If that's the case, I'm still waiting for a link to my site, muchless favored website status. :-)

Well, you could PM me to ask ;).