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Just now a guy came up to me and showed me a 1929 penny that he claimed he found cleaning out an apartment.  It was in a little baggy that I imagine they keep rare coins in.  He also claimed it's worth $1,500.  

 

Nah dude, you just went and overpaid for a 1929 penny and for whatever reason feel the need to tell everyone you found it and exaggerate its value.  

Last week I overheard a woman talking to a UPS driver.  She claimed that her husband was hired to paint an Autozone and that while at the top of a 20-foot ladder he dropped the phone mid-conversation and it fell into the bucket of orange paint.  Her son dashed over, got the phone out, and it still worked.  

  • 2 weeks later...

A spectacular hoax:

 

the best big lies i have seen lately are in martin scorsese's rolling thunder revue netflix faux doc of bob dylan's famous 1975-76 tour --- it's a lot of fun to pick out the truth from the lies in there -- even funnier how he got the enigmatic dylan to go along with it -- and of course peak era dylan performances are interspersed:

 

 

 

  • 4 months later...

"...can't come to Thanksgiving because she has to work late on Wednesday and early Monday morning".  

 

Nah - she is the foot soldier for a mini-Airbnb empire.  She needs to let people in and out and clean units during the long weekend.  

  • 1 month later...

Just had someone claim that he played both guitar and French horn and that they're "the same instrument".  Like, if you can play the French horn, you can also play the guitar.  

Sounds like fodder for a reaction video

On 1/2/2020 at 3:35 PM, jmecklenborg said:

Just had someone claim that he played both guitar and French horn and that they're "the same instrument".  Like, if you can play the French horn, you can also play the guitar.  

oprah no GIF

  • 2 months later...

Just heard someone talking about how they heard polar bears were spotted in Canada.  He was like "you used to never hear people talking about that".  

  • 6 months later...

So we hired a temp last week and within three minutes of introducing himself he told me he used to be a DJ at Bristol's in the 1990s.  I asked him what some of the funniest stripper names were that he remembered.  He hesitated and he said "aw, you know, the usual".  It became immediately obvious that he had listened to the same "I was a strip club DJ in the 90s" podcast I had listened to, and was attempting to make that guy's story his own.  

  • 2 years later...

Just had a guy tell me that he went to pick up his friend from CVG and then fly him via "private jet" to Boston.  Some people overheard them in the terminal and asked to come along since they were "desperate to get to Boston" to "see their kids for Xmas". 

 

I asked him how he got to fly on a private jet.  He said "well I flew it".  I asked...a jet?  He said, no a Cessna prop plane.  He said they took off from Lunken.  I asked him which airport they landed at in Boston and he hesitated and said a "small regional airport named, uhhhh, Bunker-something". 

 

This guy also told me a few weeks ago that he has a girlfriend. 

5 hours ago, Lazarus said:

 

This guy also told me a few weeks ago that he has a girlfriend. 

She lives in Canada. You wouldn't know her.

Uh, I came here expecting George Santos. I guess we need a “resume embellishing” thread?

On 9/29/2020 at 12:06 PM, Guest jmecklenborg said:

So we hired a temp last week and within three minutes of introducing himself he told me he used to be a DJ at Bristol's in the 1990s.  I asked him what some of the funniest stripper names were that he remembered.  He hesitated and he said "aw, you know, the usual".  It became immediately obvious that he had listened to the same "I was a strip club DJ in the 90s" podcast I had listened to, and was attempting to make that guy's story his own.  

 

He might not have been as the vast majority of clubs have the same set of names.   The purpose of "stripper names" is security, not fantasy or marketing.   To the point that some clubs insist that bartenders and waitresses have assumed names since it's so common for them to make the switch.   At more secure clubs the bouncers will ask guys who are picking up a dancer/waitress after work who they are there for and they'd better hear a real name.   As for the selection, a lot of the debutantes are nervous and just pick anything, and keep it at the next club.

 

Perhaps not a lie, but not long after my nephew's dad met his mom, we were talking about something or other, and he bragged *to me* (eight years experience at the time in his hometown) that he used to be a bouncer.   I'm not sure if he was or not but I doubt it was for long.   I hired him to work a Thanksgiving Wednesday one year and he clearly "didn't have the temperment for the trade, to paraphrase Dalton.

Edited by E Rocc

Well you don't want it to turn into the kind of place where they sweep the eyeballs up at the end of the night. 

 

There's gotta be a bit of marketing to stripper names or else there would be Mildreds and Coras out there

4 minutes ago, GCrites80s said:

Well you don't want it to turn into the kind of place where they sweep the eyeballs up at the end of the night. 

 

There's gotta be a bit of marketing to stripper names or else there would be Mildreds and Coras out there

 

Forgot my usual "mostly" there.    :)

55 minutes ago, GCrites80s said:

Well you don't want it to turn into the kind of place where they sweep the eyeballs up at the end of the night. 

 

This is the best expression I've heard in a long time.  I would like to steal it for my own use.

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