Jeff Foxworthy on Ohio

 

All I have to say is "Go Bucks!"

 

You might be from Ohio (pronounced O-hi-uh), if:

 

You think all Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange!

 

You know all the 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter

and construction.

 

You live less than 30 miles from some college or university.

 

You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candied

ones.

 

"Toward the lake" means "north" and "toward the river" means

"south."

 

You know if other Ohioans are from southern or northern Ohio as

soon as they open their mouths.

 

You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine,

Tuscarawas, Wapakoneta and you know which letter is doubled in

Cincinnati!

 

"Vacation! " means spending a day at Cedar Point in the summer

and deer hunting in the fall.

 

You measure distance in minutes.

 

Your school classes were cancelled because of cold.

 

Your school classes were cancelled because of heat.

 

You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

 

You know what should be knee-high by the Fourth of July.

 

You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. For

example: "Where's my coat at?"

 

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave

both unlocked.

 

You think of the major four food groups as corn, pork, beer, and

Jell-O salad with marshmallows.

 

You carry jumper cables in your car.

 

You know what 'pop' is.

 

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

 

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled

with snow. (Amen!)

 

You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown.

 

The local paper covers national and international headlines on

one page but requires six pages for sports.

 

You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

 

 

You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

 

I would imagine a Sycamore leaf would be quite adequate.

In Indiana we save our last year's phone book for that. In the good old days, when everyone got one of those big, fat Sears catalogs, that was the best! We just hung on a nail in the outhouse, and we were good to go for quite a while.

You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

 

I would imagine a Sycamore leaf would be quite adequate.

Unless you're my drunk ass great great great grandpa, then it's poison ivy leaves  :-o

 

 

Jeff Foxworthy.

 

Feh.

The construction/winter joke ceased to be funny about 700 years ago.

The construction/winter joke ceased to be funny about 700 years ago.

What, are you just gonna sit there and take that David?

 

My problem with Foxworthy is more an issue of his bland, overly obvious observational humor. There's a place for that sort of thing, and he's been very, very successful at it. But in the end, I think he succeeds in making his core audience (ostensibly middle-class southerners) seem dumber and more boring than they actually are.

The construction/winter joke ceased to be funny about 700 years ago.

:shoot: