LOL! This thread is great!

 

I have learned a few things of my own...

 

1. Girls don't really like poetry. Somebody made that up.

 

...

 

They are, however, powerless against:

 

1) Flowers.

2) Musicians.

 

This concludes my entire repertoire.

Dating Tips

January 16, 2002 | Issue 38-01

 

The dating world can be a bewildering place. Here are some tips to help you navigate the perilous waters of love:

    * Ladies: Your date's salary divided by your own equals the base you should let him get to on the first date.

    * If you are overweight and socially awkward, consider "online dating." You can go on a dragonslaying adventure instead of to a movie, play games on Pogo.com instead of dancing, and masturbate instead of having real sex.

    * Do not bathe for several days prior to a date to get your pheromones good and strong.

    * Never date a married person, unless he or she is just about to leave his or her spouse and simply waiting for the right moment.

    * When planning a romantic candlelit dinner, the right music can create the perfect mood. Put on The Best Of Spike Jones to create a freewheeling, anything-goes atmosphere.

    * Maintain a casual, "Let's just have fun" attitude until the other person starts seeing someone else. Then let the tears and accusations fly.

    * Remember: There's only one way to console a widow.

    * To make a lasting impression on a first date, declare yourself his or her eternal soulmate and propose marriage.

    * Why don't you ask that Julie girl out? She's a lovely girl. You're practically 35, for God's sake. Fine, rip your mother's heart out.

    * If you are a princess being courted by a low-born but beloved suitor, be sure to elude the watchful eye of the lord high chamberlain.

    * Instead of going out tonight, punch yourself in the nuts three times and the heart twice. This will save you approximately $75.

^Very good dating tips!

 

Dating Tips

January 16, 2002 | Issue 38-01

 

* Never date a married person, unless he or she is just about to leave his or her spouse and simply waiting for the right moment.

 

Uh-huh. Reminds me of the time I met a rather drunk cute guy at a party. I found out later that night that he was married, but that wasn't the half of it. A couple of days later, he showed up on my doorstep, suitcase in hand, having left his wife and expecting to live happily ever after. :-o

 

Cruel, self-centered heartbreaker I am. :x

"Cruel, self-centered heartbreaker I am."

 

'atta girl! :clap:

"Cruel, self-centered heartbreaker I am."

 

'atta girl! :clap:

*'atta boy!  boobies = gross.

but i heart boobies.

^Very good dating tips!

 

Dating Tips

January 16, 2002 | Issue 38-01

 

* Never date a married person, unless he or she is just about to leave his or her spouse and simply waiting for the right moment.

 

Uh-huh. Reminds me of the time I met a rather drunk cute guy at a party. I found out later that night that he was married, but that wasn't the half of it. A couple of days later, he showed up on my doorstep, suitcase in hand, having left his wife and expecting to live happily ever after. :-o

 

Cruel, self-centered heartbreaker I am. :x

 

oh my god!  Rob, I am now your number one fan!  I love how you deny him yet still claim to be "sweet and innocent".

From Nana-Nana,

 

 

"Sweet and innocent."

I'm late to reading over this thread. I think I just learned more about dating in the last 15 minutes than I have over the past 40 years.

 

C'Dawg's post almost pushed me into the priesthood if it wasn't for the creepyness that goes on there too!!

C-Dawg Njaim, are you under the influence now?

You should be out there sarging!

"Why do you think clubs let girls in right away while guys stand in line forever in the freezing cold waiting to get in dance clubs? "

 

You all haven't figured this out yet?  It's so the bartenders and bouncers can get numbers from the best of the pack (and their friends) before the competition can.....  :)

 

"Guys go right to the club chasing after girls when the "fellatio ratio" is far from being right.  You see all these lame dudes coming up from behind girls; grinding on 'em."

 

The only way being a dance-floor bandit works is if you have wierd fetish for pepper spray.

You see all these lame dudes coming up from behind girls; grinding on 'em. It looks like something off of the discovery channel.

 

This explains what I like to call the Great Migration of the Mid-Twenties. During their early (legal) drinking years, people will put up with the random drunken Bloodhound Gang-inspired grinder. But by their mid-twenties, pretty girls will flee to the safety of the gay clubs ... and pretty gay men will flee to the safety of the straight bars in Tremont or Larchmere (or similar "mixed crowd" neighborhoods for those of you outside of Cleveland).

^so that explains why I would make appearances at gay clubs....

^Haha ... Yeah, if you don't mind getting hit on by half a dozen guys for every girl you get an opportunity to hit on. 

 

Seriously, you would be surprised by how many straight guys do lurk at the gay clubs. I've had a number of friends hit on by guys at gay bars. Let me tell you what an ego boost it is to see your "hag" getting more action than you among "your people".  :oops:

^no, I was always "smelled out".

I hate almost everything in Ohio (except Lake Erie and Hocking Hills), and can't wait to brain drain this mutha.

 

I'm not sure this instance would qualify as brain drain.

^Different brain entirely.

^Haha ... Yeah, if you don't mind getting hit on by half a dozen guys for every girl you get an opportunity to hit on. 

 

Seriously, you would be surprised by how many straight guys do lurk at the gay clubs. I've had a number of friends hit on by guys at gay bars. Let me tell you what an ego boost it is to see your "hag" getting more action than you among "your people".  :oops:

 

AMEN!  My two cousins would go to clubs with me to meet girls.  My friends would throw them such shade.  and say things like, "how can a straight man come up in here and meet a girl and I can't even get asked to the dance floor?!"

 

My cousin would say, girls that have a gay best friend or brother are always more put together and on point.  He met his wife at numbers.

 

^so that explains why I would make appearances at gay clubs....

 

Leave the yellow raincoat at home when you do!  I think that would turn the girls off and her gaymate will give you a low rating.

>Many there choose not to partake in alcohol, drugs, partying, etc. and I commend them for that. It's a shame we have a few that choose to make a name for themselves in the worst possible manner.

 

 

Well I don't know how anyone can live in any dorm at any state university and avoid exposure to pretty much every drug under the sun.  The difference is that in Athens I've seen people nonchalantly smoke crack outdoors at parties and do lines on the back patios of bars.  Meanwhile the university has been expending most of its effort, uh, cracking down on alcohol.   

 

And how far has the college environment sunk in recent decades?  My parents got married when they were sophomores in college and despite being married my dad had to leave the dorm by 9pm and spending the night was unthinkable! 

 

 

This 6 second fight in Athens appeared recently on youtube:

 

^ I lived in a dorm at a state university for two years and had no problem avoiding the drug/party/drink obsessively scene. Perhaps your inhibitions are much lower?

^ I lived in a dorm at a state university for two years and had no problem avoiding the drug/party/drink obsessively scene. Perhaps your inhibitions are much lower?

 

Same for me and in my 41 years, I've never smoked, snorted, sniffed or shot anything.

Von Bondies, Detroit Cobras, Slum Village, J Dilla, Dramatics, and Stevie Wonder all s--t on this state.

 

 

Uh.  Isley Bros alone > Von Bondies, Detroit Cobras, Slum Village, J Dilla, Dramatics, and Stevie Wonder combined.

 

Let alone James Brown's contribution to King Records in Evanston or Mamie Smith's contribution to black music to LET people like Slum Village and Stevie Wonder sing in front of white audiences.  Child, know your history of Ohio music before you start going off rose-coloured rants.

>I lived in a dorm at a state university for two years and had no problem avoiding the drug/party/drink obsessively scene. Perhaps your inhibitions are much lower?

 

I said exposure, not actually indulging.  I remember joints and bongs being fired up within minutes of people's parents dropping them off at school and more or less remaining lit for the next 250 days.  It's hilarious how all the potheads are able to network within the first 90 minutes of a new living situation, networking for the hard stuff is a little more cautious. 

 

Everyone who went to college knows someone who just hung out in their dorm room, did drugs continuously for months, and got fat.  My uncle knew someone who dropped acid for 67 days straight in a Miami dorm.  They would occasionally bring him slices of pizza or a sub to keep him going.  In the past aside from the drugs people used to get addicted to foosball or ping pong and fail out of school for that alone, now video games and internet gambling are causing people to fail out. 

 

 

People do drugs everywhere; it's not like its a "college thing". This thread is mutating faster than HIV.

It's hard as hell to meet attractive, single women in Cleveland.  I don't believe the problem is me - when I lived in Chicago, I was by no means a player but still did all right.  Meeting women there wasn't an issue or a concern because there were so many attractive (many of whom were intelligent )girls at Wrigleyville, Lincoln Park or Rush/Division that I'd often come home with a phone number or a girl by my side.  Dating wasn't hard there, and there were so many wonderful girls everywhere.

 

There just isn't the same kind of friendliness in Cleveland, especially from attractive women.  I ask why. 

What/who do you deem attractive?

not overweight, clear skin, kind personality, intelligent, sense of humor, warm smile...

 

any combination of those criteria

From what I've seen and heard around here, I'd say pope fits the bill. Overlooking the wiener, of course.

you are going to meet 4-5x less women or anyone else in the real cleve than you did in the big cleve. its just numbers, it aint as big a place. hang in there!

"not overweight, clear skin, kind personality, intelligent, sense of humor, warm smile..."

 

Do you meet those criteria yourself?

I find people in Ohio are not as friendly as people in other parts of the country, especially in the south, But I haven't had any problems meeting great Females since I've been in Cincy. Females here are more independent than most places & they have high expectations from males, which is the kind of female I like.  :)

On this topic, you won't get much disagreement from me. The last girl I went out with several weeks ago actually told her ex-boyfriend where we were going and he stopped by to have a drink with us. Um, ok?

 

I'll even qualify your criteria so people don't blow it off as vain -- "quality" single girls are incredibly hard to find and by that I mean desirable human beings, not just physically, but also intellectually and all the other stuff you can't see but is important. I don't have an answer, unfortunately. If I leave for a "bigger" city, this will be one of the two reasons why.

 

^ Unless she has one of those "we are still friends" relationships with her ex-boyfriend, I would think she wasn't interested to start with.

Lets be honest, usually you're not doing something right (applying yourself). I'm an opportunist.

Lets be honest, usually you're not doing something right (applying yourself). I'm an opportunist.

 

And appearing as C-dawg, David.

 

Seriously, I feel for you, Eparabola. Not a day goes by I'm not glad I'm married, but enough about me.

 

How do you meet interesting women? Do interesting things. How do you meet attractive women? Be rich. How do you meet interesting, attractive women? Be lucky (and attractive).

 

As others have pointed out, so much of it is a numbers and (population) density game. But I think another key metric is the happy factor: moreso than Cleveland, Chicago is a desireable desination for a lot of young people, and therefore, Chicago has more people happy to be there (and I've observed that happy people get naked a lot quicker than the other kind).

 

Is this suggesting that Cleveland girls are grumpy to be in Cleveland? I think girls in the midwest are grumpy period. Generally, the midwest is like Denny's; you don't go there, you just end up there.

The bar scene has never been an ideal place to someone in Cleveland. I've had a few "hits" but many more misses in bars. Instead, in order to meet someone pleasant and interesting, you usually need to get involved in activities. Go on social bike rides (see http://www.ohiocitycycles.org/) or join a hiking club (see http://www.clevelandhikingclub.com/index.html) or even consider a lunch dating service for professionals (http://www.itsjustlunchcleveland.com/).

 

Those are just some examples, and may give you some similar ideas to search on. Also consider partaking in some adult education programs or other recreational activities. Think about where physically fit, intelligent, interesting people would go to have fun in Cleveland. Then go there.

^ Unless she has one of those "we are still friends" relationships with her ex-boyfriend, I would think she wasn't interested to start with.

 

I suppose you might think this, but considering the circumstances, this was not the case. I have a pretty good idea what was going on, but it really doesn't really matter because either way it still makes my point that it's hard to meet people.

 

I'm sure it's hard for girls to meet guys, too. We live in a region with a limited sense of social interaction. I'll give you an asexual situation -- I was at an event, and these three guys had name tags, and I walked up to them and said something like "Wow, where did you guys get those name tags?" They motioned to the door. "Oh, I thought you guys might have some sort of special powers." They turned away from me! I was just being friendly, but they had their little group set. I'll give you another example. Join a club or a team or any social activity that is already in process. Unless there is someone incredibly friendly involved, no one is going to go out of their way to introduce you, the newbie, to the larger group. So, you have to go to each person and say "Hey, I'm so and so, and I'm new here..." I would say this is the case 50% of the time at least. I'm not saying this is the worst thing ever, but when you're the new person, it definitely helps when someone helps introduce you to everyone.

 

I agree with David and KJP. You do need to "be on" at all times. The selection around here is slim, so you need to be able to kick up your game to another level at the most random of times -- in the bookstore, the grocery store, the street, etc. -- I know this sounds cheesy, but it's just how it is. Creating a broad social circle is also important by volunteering and getting involved in different activities. You might do all of these things, and it's still a pain in the ass, and I'll agree.

Things would be easier if women weren't so fat today.

Thanks guys.  Good suggestions (especially about joining fitness related club).  I lift 4 days a week and run/box the other three, so I'm definitely game for something athletic-related

You workout 7 days a week and you're straight?

 

Huh...

You workout 7 days a week and you're straight?

 

Huh...

 

LOL

 

That reminds me of some stand up comedian who's joke was about the biggest dudes at the gym being gay. I wish I remember how it went.

"So, you have to go to each person and say "Hey, I'm so and so, and I'm new here..." I would say this is the case 50% of the time at least. I'm not saying this is the worst thing ever, but when you're the new person, it definitely helps when someone helps introduce you to everyone."

 

You bring up a very good point and one that should be heeded by every group in Cleveland. If you have an event, designate some members of your group to be the "social butterflies" and help make newcomers feel welcome.

 

The reason I choose to donate money and time (volunteer work) to Cleveland Public Art is because when I first volunteered at an event, two of their staffers came up to me, introduced themselves, thanked me for my efforts and began to introduce me to some of the other volunteers. They were genuinely appreciative that we were there and showed it. After the event, they said "hey, some of us are going out for drinks later, you're welcome to join us". I wasn't able to join them, but it was a little gesture that has gone a long way. It not only made me WANT to volunteer for more events; I eventually ended up deciding to donate the licensing fees from my site's photos (rather than deal with 1099 forms, etc.) and this year my donation total is getting close to $1000. And more importantly, I've made quite a few friends via the people I've met at CPA.

 

Conversely, my experience with other groups in Cleveland has made me write them off. For example, the Young Friends of the Cleveland Museum of Art. Maybe things have changed since then (one could only hope) but I attended two meetings a few years ago. One was advertised as a regular meeting. I stopped by the regular meeting, and it was obviously a "let's discuss old business/financials/etc." so I excused myself after 20 minutes. No big whoop since I thought the new members meeting would be much more appropriate. I get there, and no one beyond the sign-in person spoke to me* (and the extent of that was "oh, new person, huh?"). As we went around the room introducing ourselves I figured "okay, they're going to have some kind of opportunities for us to get involved." Nope. "Maybe they'll announce some upcoming events?" Nope. They just had a brief talk about different events they have during the year and then had a "mixer" where everyone clumped into a standoffish little huddle - everyone except the new members. Basically the new people (myself and two other people) took time out of our day to show up, introduce ourselves, and listen to the regulars talk amongst themselves. I asked the other new members "was it me, or did they not exactly welcome the new people at a new members meeting?". *They agreed, and they echoed my sentiments - that it wasn't worth our time. I'll happily support the museum via general membership but I'll be d@mned if I give a dime (or my time) to a group that doesn't go out of its way to welcome new people who actually give a sh!t.

From what I've seen and heard around here, I'd say pope fits the bill. Overlooking the wiener, of course.

 

maybe i should just date myself then.

 

there's something funny about discussing the lack of females:

a) on the internet

b) on a male dominated forum

c) a good handful of males on this forum play for the other team.

It's hard as hell to meet attractive, single women in Cleveland.  I don't believe the problem is me - when I lived in Chicago, I was by no means a player but still did all right.  Meeting women there wasn't an issue or a concern because there were so many attractive (many of whom were intelligent )girls at Wrigleyville, Lincoln Park or Rush/Division that I'd often come home with a phone number or a girl by my side.  Dating wasn't hard there, and there were so many wonderful girls everywhere.

 

There just isn't the same kind of friendliness in Cleveland, especially from attractive women.  I ask why. 

 

This is comical at best.  

I find people in Ohio are not as friendly as people in other parts of the country, especially in the south, But I haven't had any problems meeting great Females since I've been in Cincy. Females here are more independent than most places & they have high expectations from males, which is the kind of female I like.  :)

 

Untrue, for me.  I'm gay and when I come home, I get hit on by plenty of women.  Maybe it's you, remember breeders, "presentation is everything".

 

On this topic, you won't get much disagreement from me. The last girl I went out with several weeks ago actually told her ex-boyfriend where we were going and he stopped by to have a drink with us. Um, ok?

 

I'll even qualify your criteria so people don't blow it off as vain -- "quality" single girls are incredibly hard to find and by that I mean desirable human beings, not just physically, but also intellectually and all the other stuff you can't see but is important. I don't have an answer, unfortunately. If I leave for a "bigger" city, this will be one of the two reasons why.

 

 

And why did you let that take place?  You enabled the chick to treat you like you didn't count.  You need some fangs!  You should have stood up for yourself and explain that you wanted to go on a date with her and that you're not into "group activities" then excused yourself and stuck those two with the bill.  I mean this was CLEARLY a set up to make the other guy jealous!  HELLO!!!

 

I agree with the second paragraph of your message.

 

Things would be easier if women weren't so fat today.

 

And I take it you're at least 6'0", 190 lbs, v-cut and ripped with body for days?

 

You workout 7 days a week and you're straight?

 

Huh...

 

I was thinking the same thing!  Unless the guy is a trainer or training for the Iron man triathalon circuit.

 

 

MayDay, you're spunky.  I like that!

 

From what I've seen and heard around here, I'd say pope fits the bill. Overlooking the wiener, of course.

 

You know this for a fact?

I hope you don't expect him to know that for a fact...

Speaking as a "breeder"....I found it not a big problem to meet women in Cleveland.  I DO however, find that there is a lot more attitude here than in cities such as NYC or Chicago because of lack of competition.  My friends and I have found that the "hot" girls are hard to approach (which to me wasn't a big deal because I have/had a "I don't give a shit what you think you are" attitude) and the "average" girls think they are more physically than they really are.  Of course this is all based on each individuals personal preferences...

It seems there are less women out in certain bars or clubs than I have ran across in the aforementioned cities, which in turn gives the upper hand to the female...which is selection.  In places like NYC, I had better luck because I was just "me"..which seems to be a trait that is hard to find (from what I was told) in NYC....guys always bragging about what they do or how much money they make (which for me I can't..being a firefighter, I AIN'T rich!!  lol). 

I guess being lucky enough to have traveled around, I realize that the much adorned Cleveland "jeans with a sweater tied around your waist" look you find here quite often does NOT give you attitude rights!!  I am in no way a snob when I go out, but I don't take crap(attitude) either.  People need to realize that just because you say hello, doesn't always mean you are trying to be a Rico Suave...maybe you are just being ....holy crap...NICE!  :)  Okay, enough of MY rant...my advice...go out, be you, and who cares what the snobby ones think! 

Rico Suave??  HA HA HA.  You're dating yourself man.

I hope you don't expect him to know that for a fact...

 

Nah, I expect him to come back with a witty remark...