Iconic movie moment; we've all done it at some level.

Hey, ladies, if you're looking for Mr. Right, this guy is apparently  back on the market! Just remember to call him or return his texts

 

http://www.reddit.com/r/nyc/comments/n1bqg/an_investment_bankers_cover_letter_for_a_second/

 

Late chiming in on this, but......

 

We have a number of things in common. I’ll name a few things: First, we’ve both very intelligent.

 

:-D

There is so much entertaining shit in this thread that it almost deserves its own website.

I can recall a time when a discussion of dating on an internet forum was likely akin to a discussion of sobriety in a dive bar.  :)

This is even better:

 

http://www.holytaco.com/the-douchiest-phone-message-in-history/

 

Warning: Should probably have been labeled NSFW (I couldn't see it, but it triggered my firm's explicit content filter, so I'm assuming it should have gotten that label).

I agree with C-Dawg, communication is a lost art for (the tail end of) our generation and the one following ours.

I agree with C-Dawg, communication is a lost art for (the tail end of) our generation and the one following ours.

 

I disagree, perhaps because I'm on the cusp between the boom and Gen X yet most of my associates are much younger.

 

Communication is done differently.  What's been gotten rid of is the sitting by the phone (because we carry it with us) and the logistics of sending snail mail.  If anything there's more communication, it's just largely in the background.  Texts do not require immediate reply, though ironically it's easier to read them than it is to retrieve voice mail in many surroundings.

 

Negative communication has largely gone by the wayside, but the ettiquette around that has changed as well.  No news is bad news, that's pretty much understood.

Text messaging is incredibly damaging to one's personal life. Here's a fun texting exchange I had a little while ago (paraphrased to perfection)

 

Girl (about 30 minutes prior to a date): "Hey, I have to bail on tonight to spend time with the family."

Me: "Well, I wish you had told me earlier but no problem. Have a good night."

Girl: "YOU KNOW, I ONLY HAVE SO MUCH FREE TIME BETWEEN MY STUDIES AND HELPING MY BROTHER OUT, AND I NEED TO SEE MY GRANDFATHER!"

Me (trying to soothe the situation): "Can't argue that" (i.e. I understand; family is important)

Girl (completely misreading): "OH, YOU'RE BEING SO ARGUMENTATIVE. YOU KNOW I'M BUSY WITH MEDICAL SCHOOL AND MY BROTHER, AND NOW YOU'RE GOING TO BE ALL PASSIVE-AGRESSIVE." (and so on and so forth until) "I DON'T WANT SEE YOU ANYMORE."

Me (at this point I don't care either way if she's interested, but in all fairness to my libido she is very attractive): "Woh, slow down. You're completely misreading that. I'd like see you but if you're not interested, no need for drama. Whatever you'd like is fine with me."

Girl: "YOU KNOW I ONLY HAVE A LITTLE FREE TIME AND I THOUGHT WE'D BE GOOD TOGETHER. BUT NOW I SEE YOU'RE DISHONEST AND ARGUMENTATIVE, SO WE BETTER CUT OUR TIES.

Me: "That's fine. Good luck with your studies and family matters. I hope you find what you're looking for."

Girl: "GOOD LUCK WITH YOU. AND BY THE WAY, IN THE FUTURE YOU SHOULD STOP BEING SO ARGUMENTATIVE AND DEFENSIVE. IT'S VERY UNNATTRACTIVE."

 

Now obviously this person is a nutjob - the quotes aren't 100% but this is definitely the gist of the text exchanges - and it relates to texting and dating ... and I just thought it would be funny to share:)

 

One cool fact about her is that her parents live directly across the street to Penny Pritzker in Lincoln Park, Chicago, and the families know each other pretty well. Her parents' home is unbelievable, and I really wanted to see Penny's $40 million dollar place as well: "Oh hi Penny, I'm the boyfriend. How about a tour?" Oh wow, so that's what a specially-made $25-million-dollar geothermal air thingy system is." Guess that won't be happening now.

Yes, this is the same Aja who now tools around with the COAST boys in Cincinnati:

 

Blind Date episode - Aja and Eli

 

This is her current facebook profile pic...so she went from that LA guy to getting engaged to this fat, bald Cincinnati Tea Party guy:

 

Hey, fat bald guys need love too (but they've gotta pay).

 

Family Guy : fat chicks need love

Just goes to show that what women say they want isn't necessarily what they actually go for. This goes for guys, too, though. The guy that chants "No fat chicks! No fat chicks!" has probably had his share of 'em.

Last weekend I ran into a girl I took to a dance 16 or 17 years ago.  She vouched that I had a "No Fat Chicks" sticker on my car back in the day.  We've both gained weight but she's gained more. 

 

 

>Just goes to show that what women say they want isn't necessarily what they actually go for.

 

The worst is how when they get in a group they will all go in on a preposterous lie together. 

Ahh, the No Fat Chicks sticker. Quite popular in '80s BMX. Of course, there weren't nearly as many fat people back then anyway so there was barely anyone to offend.

Just goes to show that what women say they want isn't necessarily what they actually go for.

 

LOL!  Ya think?  I thought that was the First Basic Fact of the whole deal.  She will say what she wants.....for her friends.  The exact opposite is going to be closer to what she wants for herself.

 

Guys are pretty honest about what they want, at least with themselves.  Sometimes with their friends as well.

 

It's important to remember that attraction is involuntary.  You can't make someone attracted to you who isn't, and can't do the same for yourself either. 

 

The most important rule is probably "never look desperate".  You turn off the worthy, while users know they can take advantage.

It's important to remember that attraction is involuntary.  You can't make someone attracted to you who isn't, and can't do the same for yourself either.

 

Eh, I don't know about this.  There have been a handful of females I've crossed paths with in my life that had an initial unreciprocated attraction to me that I over time would begin to feel differently about.  Unfortunately I'm not aware of any instances where the opposite happened.  But anyways, I think attraction can evolve if given the chance.

It's important to remember that attraction is involuntary.  You can't make someone attracted to you who isn't, and can't do the same for yourself either.

 

Eh, I don't know about this.  There have been a handful of females I've crossed paths with in my life that had an initial unreciprocated attraction to me that I over time would begin to feel differently about.  Unfortunately I'm not aware of any instances where the opposite happened.  But anyways, I think attraction can evolve if given the chance.

 

It does evolve, but not exactly on command. So it's still "involuntary".

I don't know, I guess to each his own. I am sure I could grow to love someone fat or ugly - and I'm talking about real love - but how in the hell could I ever be sexually attracted to her? Does that kind of attraction really evolve? I supppose you don't really have to be sexually attracted to the person you love - just now I'm thinking of about the spouses of some of the Iraqi vet burn victims who are staying with their men (presumably out of love and not obligtation) - but that is certainly quite the hurdle to overcome.

There have been a few overweight girls I've met who I thought were cute (but they were just a little overweight, not obese). You can obviously tell if someone is basically good-looking if they are a little fat. Just imagine them skinnier, and remember it's highly possible to lose weight. I was auditioning for a reality TV show once, and met a bubbly Latina girl who at first glance, I didn't think was cute (she was a little overweight, but she had great skin, nice hair, a cute voice, and a decent face). After talking to her for a while and getting to know her (she was hilarious and very open), I actually thought she was kind of hot. There are instances where personality and general vibe can indeed make someone more attractive than they are at first glance.

 

You might see things that weren't there before. Just keep in mind being overweight and being not so good-looking are different things. If this girl lost 15 pounds, most guys would say she's an 8 or 9 on the "scale of hotness." She was basically attractive by any other criteria, and that was coupled with a great personality. She was the type of girl who made you feel good about yourself and was fun to be around. That is certainly worth something. Sometimes traditionally hot girls make you feel like crap, even if you are dating them. They might have a cold personality or be really shallow and judgmental. I don't care how hot they are, that automatically knocks them down a few points. Girls of poor character suck. They're not worth the time of day. A 7 who is honest and pleasant to be around beats a 10 who is a horrible human being any day of the week. Personality matters, it really does. It's actually way more common to see an overweight girl lose weight than see a gold-digging, cold-hearted alpha slut become a nice person.

 

So, you can be attracted to girls who are a little overweight, but only if they're basically cute and have a killer personality (it can really disarm you). And generally speaking, I'll at least talk to any girl who steps to me. I admire girls who can play on a man's level. Men tend to do most of the legwork and are more honest about what they want. It's always pleasant to meet girls who are the same way.

>You might see things that weren't there before. Just keep in mind being overweight and being not so good-looking are different things.

 

I don't think that many guys out there really prefer skinny girls.  Unfortunately I think the eating disorders and body image problems a lot of women have are caused by competition with other women.  That goes for clothes, tanning, and all sorts of other things that many women obsess themselves with but men don't really care about.  The reason why a lot of women are in a nasty mood is because they're just plain hungry.

 

Maybe I'm simplifying the above few posts too much, but I think we can all agree that there still has to be a minimum level of physical attraction there, especially from the male point of view.  But beyond that, I do think that total attraction can evolve over time (growing stronger or weaker).

 

It is my understanding (and maybe I'm engaging in a little bit too much wishful thinking or perhaps I'm flat out wrong on this) that females tend to be more flexible than males on the physical attractiveness of their potential matches.

Women be shoppin' !

I've always felt that with online dating sites, there are two deal breakers. Women may not lie about weight (thin means thin, folks) and men can't lie about employment status. Everything else is workable and some profile dishonesty is acceptable - but not weight/body type and income/employment

 

 

>You might see things that weren't there before. Just keep in mind being overweight and being not so good-looking are different things.

 

I don't think that many guys out there really prefer skinny girls.  Unfortunately I think the eating disorders and body image problems a lot of women have are caused by competition with other women.  That goes for clothes, tanning, and all sorts of other things that many women obsess themselves with but men don't really care about.  The reason why a lot of women are in a nasty mood is because they're just plain hungry.

 

 

The competition also includes celebrities. In the '80s and before, you didn't see ridiculously skinny female celebrities except for a short period in the late '60s/early '70s. When they show all these nasty, super-skinny women with buzzard necks and seemingly oversize heads on TV these days it makes them think that that's what guys want. It's not. Most of us like women that look like they've at least gone through puberty. And, most women don't want to be different than what is promoted on TV, in fashion mags and in the movies lest they be labeled "different" and not part of the "movement".

 

So what it actually ends up doing is making the general population fatter since it sucks so much to be that ridiculously thin. That's why it's also part of a "movement" to be too fat. People used to be able to tell whether they looked good or not on their own. Then a bunch of people looking to sell them something came along and simultaneously told them that they were too skinny and too fat.

 

A parallel can be found back in the "General Assistance" welfare days when people would only get $25 more a week by going off welfare and getting a job where they had to be there at 4AM, work every weekend at some dangerous filthy job and be away from their family all the time. Why bother?

^I don't agree. People have gotten fatter because of a combination of:

 

Family breakdowns and depression (increased stress affects diet)

Necessity for dual income households (cooking is time-consuming; when does mom have time to cook a healthy meal any more)

Economic breakdown/food inflation (good food does seem to cost more)

Somewhat (though not much) cheaper alternatives at fast food, with fried meals, high trans fatty foods (until recently), how sodium products

Increased perceptions on outside crime (parents don't want kids running outside; folks, there have always been pedophiles but now there's a lot more fear)

INTERNET INTERNET INTERNET (really, I consider that the must culpable. Kids sitting on their a$$ when they get home to go on the 'net is completely ignored as playing a role in obesity)

Social acceptance (Chris Rock had that shtick where women can be mocked for skinny, but it's considered bullying to make fun of fat people)

Growing lack of manners, etiquette, yet inflated perception of self-worth (people are just blind to what they are). Look at all these huge girls who call themselves curvy. Marlyn Monroe is just groaning in her grave at that one.

Treating obesity like a disability (I can't stand that perception. Let's not kid ourselves, most obese people don't have some exotic glandular or metabolic disorder; rather, they just don't care enough to truly stop, to have the will power to put the fork down).

 

Outside of those batty women who get butt impants, or whatever the hell those people were doing with that transgender cement-using nutso, some BBW fetish sites, or the very rare fringe group, I'm not sure there's really a movement promoting obesity. It's just that people don't care enough about themselves anymore.

Your reasons are all true. I'm just adding another that is very closely related to your #8 and #9.

Good food does not cost more to make.  Quite the opposite!  Organic/locally grown/gluten-free/free range/yada yada yuppie crap costs more.  Basic, healthy foodstuffs like grains and beans and fresh or especially frozen vegetables are more affordable than chips and pop.  The problem is lack of knowledge of how to prepare meals out scratch ingredients.  If you know how, you can do it a lot cheaper than making burger and fries, or frozen pizzas, or microwave meals at home, let alone eating out.

I've always felt that with online dating sites, there are two deal breakers. Women may not lie about weight (thin means thin, folks) and men can't lie about employment status. Everything else is workable and some profile dishonesty is acceptable - but not weight/body type and income/employment

 

No one should lie about anything, but dating in America has put pressure on people to misrepresent themselves (let's face it, this is a shallow culture). It's not a good way to start a connection, but I think the two things you outlined are the "expected lies." As cynical as it sounds, I think it's assumed most men lie about jobs/money and most women lie about body type. No one is surprised by that.

 

If anything, online dating is the shallowest about looks of all venues. The reason for this is that no one even bothers to read a profile if they don't think the person is good-looking. Women and men both do this equally (maybe women moreso since they get the bulk of messaging). Deep down, women are every bit as shallow on looks/body as men are. If anything, the worst thing a guy can do on a dating site is lie about his height.

 

Of course this depends on market. In some markets, women might be interested in looks. In other markets, they might be interested in money (but they're dumb to believe what guys say or sleep with them because of money- it will bite them in the ass). In some mythical market, they're interested in a guy's morals and honesty. American women don't want nice guys except for marriage. There seems to be a huge difference between the men women sleep with and the men women marry. There is a reason an unemployed hipster who does boatloads of drugs and is in a rock band can get laid. Women view him as "fun" (or good-looking). The men they marry are viewed as "stable." This is really a horrible country for dating and relationships...I can't believe anyone is actually forming happy families these days. It's tough to respect most people once you've learned their history and true self. Some of the people I know becoming parents....good lord, not in a million years should they be role models for kids.

 

*Women should never lie about having kids.

Maybe.  I don't know.  I didn't lie about either my height or my body type in my eHarmony profile (though I admittedly met a few girls who did).  I don't think it held me back much (and I'll be blunt, you won't find me displaying products at the Arnold Fitness Expo, to put it mildly).  The lies come out sooner or later, and as soon as you meet someone and it's immediately visibly obvious that they lied about their height or shape, that's chilling for the rest of the all-important first date.

 

I don't even remember if eHarmony even asked about money, though, come to think of it.  (Match.com does.)  Regardless, I wouldn't have lied about money either.

 

Either way, I got a number of good dates out of online dating, one previous serious relationship that ended as amicably as a long-term relationship reasonably can, and now, my fiancee as well--all without lying about my physical fitness or my finances.

 

The one thing that online dating does require (or at least one thing that seriously helps) is strong writing skills.  Many people (including, IMHO, the better matches) do notice and do care.

>It's tough to respect most people once you've learned their history and true self.

 

Yeah, when you meet a new girl and it's going really smooth for the first few weeks, don't get your hopes up.  It's going to get crazy real soon.  Generally, the more normal and church-going a girl presents herself, the crazier it's going to get.  Meanwhile, a spacey girl has already laid down a few cards. 

 

 

Maybe this thread name should be changed to "The Natural Selection Thread"?

Natural selection as a theory is strongly called into question by the number of idiots in the world.

Natural selection as a theory is strongly called into question by the number of idiots in the world.

 

... but soon to be proven by the looming consequences of the ascendancy of Christian and Islamic extremism at home and abroad and the proliferation of terrible weapons. Some things just take more time than you've come to expect; patience, grasshopper.

Natural selection as a theory is strongly called into question by the number of idiots in the world.

 

So true, so true

Natural selection as a theory is strongly called into question by the number of idiots in the world.

 

Being stupid used to get you killed. Then we started making everything out of Nerf.

Yeah it's certainly not for lack of trying.

 

 

 

So, I was convinced to put up a page on a particular dating site.  A couple weeks ago I got an email from them.  It said something to the effect of "You're hot, due to high ratings and click traffic we've decided to show you results of better looking people and vice versa."  Well, mostly the people that rate me high have a good foot or two on me in the waistline department.  These people also aren't all that attractive sans their weight either.  Net result is I'm now seeing and being shown to individuals out of my league.  I'm the Boise State of online dating.

Blame warning labels for destroying natural selection.  "Whatever happened to the kid who swallows too many marbles doesn't grow up to have kids of his own?" - George Carlin

Blame warning labels for destroying natural selection.  "Whatever happened to the kid who swallows too many marbles doesn't grow up to have kids of his own?" - George Carlin

 

Blame overly aggressive trial lawyers and overly generous juries for warning labels.  :)

See the commercial of the truck going down the ski slope? Warning says "Fantasy, trucks don't snowboard".

The ceiling-fan video reminded me of another stupid trick that ended on a more sombre note years ago when I was a teenager.

 

Some teen wizard came up with a theory that if you blew through a stop sign at an intersection going at least fifty miles per hour, it was impossible to collide with another vehicle. One night with three of his friends in his car he set out to prove it. On a country road with cornfields on each side that obscured the views at an intersection with a state highway, he got up to at least sixty miles per hour and shot into the intersection. Six people died; the boy genius, his three gullible friends, and the couple in the car that was going down the highway.

 

The cause of the crash was known only because he had tried to convince other classmates of the validity of his theory. What will never be known is whether the crash occurred the first time he tried it, or if he had just been lucky until that time.

Blame warning labels for destroying natural selection.  "Whatever happened to the kid who swallows too many marbles doesn't grow up to have kids of his own?" - George Carlin

 

The people with the least amount of sense end up having the most kids. I don't give much credence to natural selection, unless you're talking about an extremely primitive society. We have so many safety nets for the stupid it's ridiculous. The woman I'm talking to now said she doesn't want to have any kids. She happens to be really smart, has a good head on her shoulders and (I think) beautiful.

 

 

 

Speaking of which, I just asked said young lady out on a date; we just have to set up a time when we both aren't busy. I'm wondering if you guys (in Columbus), maybe have any creative ideas for a first date. I'd really like to do something unique, not just dinner and a movie (yawn!). I wonder if there's any good festivals or concerts happening soon. Any unique ideas would be appreciated though.

 

It's funny, the first time I met her, a year ago, was when I ventured over to my neighbor Jimmy's front porch where they were having a huge family get-together and were all drinking--which is funny because she's very straight edge. I didn't know who she was, but she was a little tipsy and said "I know I'm kinda drunk right now but you're really cute." Haha. First thing she said to me.

 

I'm really good friends with Jimmy, he's like a mentor and father figure. She is actually Jimmy's daughter. Despite me moving to the University District, I still go over to his house on the West Side a lot, to hang out. I went over there last week because he offered to fix the loose bottom bracket along with the brakes, on my bike. Growing up, I never had a father to teach me stuff like mechanics so he teaches me a lot of stuff like that. Anyway, while I was over there, she happened to be over there. I hadn't seen her or talked to her in a year! I started talking to her and finally asked her if I could take her out.

 

It's so much easier and so much of a relief to date a chick whose parents already know you and love you to death. My ex-girlfriend's parents seemed to hate me for some reason and it was always awkward being around them.

 

The woman I'm talking to now said she doesn't want to have any kids.

Do ny of the women you show interest in say they want to have kids?

Speaking of which, I just asked said young lady out on a date; we just have to set up a time when we both aren't busy. I'm wondering if you guys (in Columbus), maybe have any creative ideas for a first date. I'd really like to do something unique, not just dinner and a movie (yawn!). I wonder if there's any good festivals or concerts happening soon. Any unique ideas would be appreciated though.

 

Whenever I'm back in Columbus for an evening or a weekend, I often check <a href="http://www.columbusunderground.com/">ColumbusUnderground</a>.  They often have weekend-preview-style posts that set out a lot of different things going on in any given upcoming weekend, especially in the summer (though we may have technically passed that mark by now).

I think you should take her to a movie, and order popcorn, then cut a hole in the bottom of the container and stick.....no, wait, my wife says you shouldn't do anything that I suggest. Disregard that last sentence.

^Don't forget to set the tone early with the 'ol extending the right arm while braking trick.

I always do bars, coffee shops, or hiking for first dates. I believe they should be low-risk and generally short (unless things go well). I like cheap and easy. Only after getting to know each other would I consider something longer. I spent a whole day at Bay to Breakers with the last girl I was seeing, and that was pretty fun. I would never do that on a first date (too high risk). Two to three hours is probably a good maximum.

 

It's so much easier and so much of a relief to date a chick whose parents already know you and love you to death. My ex-girlfriend's parents seemed to hate me for some reason and it was always awkward being around them.

 

Dating is similar to finding a job. Referrals can only help.

 

The woman I'm talking to now said she doesn't want to have any kids.

 

Very good sign. This is usually code language for "I'm not judging you on money."

 

"I know I'm kinda drunk right now but you're really cute." Haha. First thing she said to me.

 

Another very good sign. Not only does she like you, but she's not afraid to approach. This one sounds like a keeper. Move fast.

Start off with a nice rosé (of the Wild Rose variety and room temp at Mike's ), go for $1 grilled cheese at Bodega (make sure it's Monday night or you'll have to splurge $5 on the same thing), and then end by perusing the goods at The Chamber. Should be an interesting evening.

Is The Chamber still open after the bath salts bust? I think it is.

You could do what I did on the night I met my now wife, which is go out to a series of bars, get debilitatingly drunk, go back to her apartment and fart so much that she has to open the windows to get breathable air, then leave her number in someone else's car, so he calls her.

 

Laugh if you want, we've been married 11 years.

You could do what I did on the night I met my now wife, which is go out to a series of bars, get debilitatingly drunk, go back to her apartment and fart so much that she has to open the windows to get breathable air, then leave her number in someone else's car, so he calls her.

 

Laugh if you want, we've been married 11 years.

 

What a lucky lady!

You could do what I did on the night I met my now wife, which is go out to a series of bars, get debilitatingly drunk, go back to her apartment and fart so much that she has to open the windows to get breathable air, then leave her number in someone else's car, so he calls her.

 

Laugh if you want, we've been married 11 years.

 

In other words, don't make any kind of actual effort and if anything do the opposite.

 

Which, of course, is the best advice there is....