That always reminds of of the Simpson's episode when Bart was looking for a lawyer.  "Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe......Hakneed, Joak, and Dunnit.....", etc  Of course the best was Lionel Hutz's group, "I Can't Believe It's a Law Firm!".

You're all wrong, its the Three Stooges.

for the first time ever, Dan B is right. Click and and Clack say it too, but the Stooges had a bit with that. Now if they ripped if off who knows -Vaudeville maybe? Dan, you recall?

for the first time ever, Dan B is right.

 

wow, I have to go sit down for a bit!

 

Actually, Wiki says they never had a short with that line in it!  Their's was Dewey, Burnum, and Howe.  It also says that the Marx Brothers used the line also.  So probably vaudeville too!

wiki might me wrong. I swear I remember Cheatum

Johnny Carson used Dewey, Cheatham and Howe.

>The Stooges stayed the night once in a Hotel Costa Plente

 

BTW high on my list of no-no's is women who are in bands, have ever been in a band, or whose brother is in my band.  But #1 is no women with dogs.  As bad as dogs are, dog culture is even worse.  The dog always and absolutely comes before you and anything else in this world.  They judge you by how you deal with the stupid dog and I get an F.  I even permanently damaged my relationship with my aunt this year when she caught me kicking the dog when it kept jumping up on me and licking my arm pit.

 

I knew a girl about 5 years ago who inherited a little house when her grandparents died...went over to that place once and she was living there alone with a dog and numerous long-haired cats.  The place smelled terrible.  It was the smell of old people + pets.  Game over.   

Oh, and another thing...why do girls insist on putting a lot of photos of themselves with other people (male or female) on their profiles?  Great, you've got some girlfriends.  And who are these guys?  Brothers?  Cousins?  Ex-boyfriends?  And the girls look so different from picture to picture when they're in these groups I can't tell which girl we're even talking about.   

There are goods and bads about internet dating.  Goods: you can be fairly sure that you guys share some common interests; which is a lot more than when you walk up to someone at a bar.

 

Bads: people could always be lying about that stuff.  But, at least you can quiz a person a little bit over email or even on the phone if that's your thing.

 

worse: i've heard stories about people getting STDs from people they met on match.com...but there's nothing stopping you from getting one from someone you met in a bar if you don't take precautions.

 

I've never tried any of those sites, but i know a lot of people are.  More and more of my friends have mentioned them.

Tried match.com just for kicks, met girls from different cities because distance worked for me! (no commitment) Met a certain girl from Queens, dated for a few years with distance...now she is here and we are married with a 10 month old son! :)  

 

Internet dating is no different than "real" life....it just broadens your playing field...

nice story. No wonder you have not been around much- A 10 month old!

Oh, and another thing...why do girls insist on putting a lot of photos of themselves with other people (male or female) on their profiles?  Great, you've got some girlfriends.  And who are these guys?  Brothers?  Cousins?  Ex-boyfriends?  And the girls look so different from picture to picture when they're in these groups I can't tell which girl we're even talking about.   

 

Or posting photos of their baby cousin that I mistake for their child. Sorry, females, I prefer not to have any babies or children to tend with at the moment, and I'd rather have the pleasure reserved for later (puntastic!).

Oh, and another thing...why do girls insist on putting a lot of photos of themselves with other people (male or female) on their profiles?  Great, you've got some girlfriends.  And who are these guys?  Brothers?  Cousins?  Ex-boyfriends?  And the girls look so different from picture to picture when they're in these groups I can't tell which girl we're even talking about.   

 

Or posting photos of their baby cousin that I mistake for their child. Sorry, females, I prefer not to have any babies or children to tend with at the moment, and I'd rather have the pleasure reserved for later (puntastic!).

 

Don't you mean giggitty?

Dream girl where could you be?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Too bad I'm married, I would so own on internet dating. I'm not hideous, and I can write a bit--therein lies the key. Polish up on your grammar and rhetorical skills, then you may land someone you don't deserve. Truly though, internet dating has to be a crapshoot--don't we become attracted to people based on scent? Like dogs minus the embarrassing crotch sniffing. I honestly believe this to be true, the internets, until they account for that will continue to put people together who don't belong together.  :yap:

So you're suggesting we need to develop the World Wide Interscent?

Imagine for a moment a world where profile pics were scratch & sniff... 

 

Marado I agree that someone who can write a flirty bio has an advantage, but more important are some decent profile photos, like I mentioned in a post a few months ago.  For the time being my job prevents me from participating in this online fiesta, but my guess is it's to a dude's advantage to have photos that advertise that you've got money and lots of it. 

 

Cal if you met a  '10' who had a dog, you know you would let it slide!

 

 

I think it depends on the woman. Probably the best indicator is the type of dog she has. If it's a neurotic poodle or Chihuahua or something, stay away from her. A dog like a husky or a lab is going to be more independent. I would love to have a husky or something but it would end up spending most of its time outside instead of tearing up my house. The problem is, whatever damage it doesn't do to the inside of your house, it'll make up for in damage to your back yard.

I hate dogs too.

>Cal if you met a  '10' who had a dog, you know you would let it slide!

 

The dog would also have to be a 10.  I've only liked about 4 dogs my whole life, and the problem is that after this dog dies there's going to be another one and chances are it's not going to be as good of a dog. 

 

As bad as the girls with dogs are the guys who get a puppy and bring it to a party.  The very first night I was in college I went to some overcrowded house party where all I knew were the 4 or 5 dudes from the dorm I went with and somebody I didn't know gave me a dog to watch named Habib.  In the 5 minutes I held Habib's leash out on the front steps I met like 10-15 people.  Who knew life was that easy? 

 

Then there are the dog people who bring their dog over to your place like it's no big deal and the thing starts chewing everything up and scaring your cats.  Then they go "he's just a puppy", as though the thing is eventually going to learn not to have an IQ of 6. 

"Habib" lol! What a dumb @ss name for a dog. Jeez.

Lord .. Jesus

 

Lord .. Jesus

 

 

 

 

David, I have never met you nor do I know you...but I feel the need to fight you for posting that!  :-D

Haha, wait until after Christmas then we can take this outside.

I know lol I was cracking up when she said her guilty pleasure.

All I could think was, "thank st. nick I'm gay!"  eeek!  She was a hot mess.

All I could think was, "thank st. nick I'm gay!"  eeek!  She was a hot mess.

 

Here you go. lmao

 

 

No, THIS is a mess:

 

 

Love the ending of this one:

 

 

 

Btw, these are 100% real! I went to the site datingondemand.com. It's all real. These are just the worse case scenarios.

These are jokes....correct?  No way are those real, and they seem a bit scripted at times.

Yeeeeah, Jared seems like an absolute hoot - a "zany" vegan whose guilty pleasure is eating honey, and the guilt comes from the fact that honeymaking might involve bees?  :roll:

 

 

 

thanks....I'll just stay single. 

Jared's screen name cracks me up. 2Hot4You -- WTF?!!  :laugh: :laugh: Miss Thing needs some man lessons!  :roll:

 

I've seen Louis' clip somewhere before. He really thinks he's looking for a woman? He's not only a classic nerd; he's a clueless big sissy! :-D

Yeeeeah, Jared seems like an absolute hoot - a "zany" vegan whose guilty pleasure is eating honey, and the guilt comes from the fact that honeymaking might involve bees? :roll:

 

Honey is one of the most controversial topics amongst vegans.

 

I'm guessing some of these are real, but that others are people's jokes.  No way the "invisibility suit" guy is real.

Jared's screen name cracks me up. 2Hot4You -- WTF?!!  :laugh: :laugh: Miss Thing needs some man lessons!  :roll:

 

I've seen Louis' clip somewhere before. He really thinks he's looking for a woman? He's not only a classic nerd; he's a clueless big sissy! :-D

 

I'm so drunk and this post is so funny!!!

Honey is one of the most controversial topics amongst vegans.

 

If the involvement of bees is a problem for vegans, I wonder that they don't all starve. Many of the plants that people eat depend upon bees for pollination, and the pollination is an incidental result of the gathering of nectar for food that is stored by the bees as honey.

Indeed, but I think the key is that the bees create the honey (from plant nectar of course) for their own use, and it is forcibly taken by the beekeepers.  It is essentially a dairy product.  Not saying I agree with it, but I think that is the crux of their argument. 

Indeed, but I think the key is that the bees create the honey (from plant nectar of course) for their own use, and it is forcibly taken by the beekeepers.  It is essentially a dairy product.  Not saying I agree with it, but I think that is the crux of their argument. 

 

Bees were put on this earth to do our slave labor! Period! I think the vegan thing is just a fad for people who don't really like meat or dairy products anyway  :-P Some people are disgusted by the thought animal flesh, milk, etc. or just don't like the taste. So they turned into a trend and an animal rights thing. Also, I knew a vegan woman I worked with and she had really bad hair and skin. Meat has essential amino acids you can't get anywhere else - that's the only thing I can think of.

 

No way the "invisibility suit" guy is real.

 

He said "aboot" and "washroom".  He's real, he's just Canadian.  :-D

like any diet, veganism has its ill informed practitioners.  but with proper care, one can get all the nutrition they need without meat or dairy.  it's just a pain in the ass to do it right.  I am not vegan for this very reason.  and I love cheese.  mmm cheese. 

 

for the record, I find more vegetarians and vegans are disgusted by corporate cattle farming and the environmental impact of large scale production of meat products than some sort of gross out factor over meat.  since I haven't had any meat in 10 years, the smell of raw meat cooking turns me off a little.  but I have no problem with someone eating it.  it's still food. 

 

bees are heartless killing machines.  they should die.   

oh Gawd, don't start on the vegans/vegetarians crap.

 

I have three cousins who preached all night long because we hat pig & beef all over the place.

 

The people you kids are describing sound just like my cousins...pass the pernil please!

Jared wants a guy with dark hair, who's a vegan and who loves his Pomeranian..."Phoenicia".

 

Jared doesn't need a dating service. He just needs a full length mirror.

 

I met my wife the old fashioned way. In a bar. P!ss drunk. I lost her number in my friend's car, and HE called her and asked her out first. It was kismet.

 

Jared doesn't need a dating service. He just needs a full length mirror. 

 

lmao

Jared wants a guy with dark hair, who's a vegan and who loves his Pomeranian..."Phoenicia".

 

Jared doesn't need a dating service. He just needs a full length mirror.

 

I met my wife the old fashioned way. In a bar. P!ss drunk. I lost her number in my friend's car, and HE called her and asked her out first. It was kismet.

 

LMAO!  With a friend like that who needs an enemy?

*Edited by moderators*

AngryTenant, if you post a site like that again, you will be permanently banned from this forum.

>oh Gawd, don't start on the vegans/vegetarians crap.

 

Obviously food is either a uniter or a divider.  I like food as much as the next chump but I don't like it when women cook for you and analyze your reaction to everything.  If you say you like what they made they still don't think you like it.  Actually most women over-analyze everything and you know everything that does or doesn't come out of your mouth (I'm not talking about food anymore) is going to be recited and discussed with mothers/girlfriends/hairdressers.       

 

Also, none of these online profiles tell you if women snore, and I can attest that many do, even skinny girls.  Sure, not as bad as some big hairy dude, but it is snoring nevertheless. 

Also, none of these online profiles tell you if women snore, and I can attest that many do, even skinny girls. Sure, not as bad as some big hairy dude, but it is snoring nevertheless.  

 

They're probably sleeping with their mouth open.  Next time that happens, pour water into it.

>oh Gawd, don't start on the vegans/vegetarians crap.

 

Obviously food is either a uniter or a divider.  I like food as much as the next chump but I don't like it when women cook for you and analyze your reaction to everything.  If you say you like what they made they still don't think you like it.  Actually most women over-analyze everything and you know everything that does or doesn't come out of your mouth (I'm not talking about food anymore) is going to be recited and discussed with mothers/girlfriends/hairdressers.         

 

Vegans/vegetarians are just too much.  I could never be one, as I love my pork.

 

I love when women cook for me.  This past weekend my mother, grand mothers and aunts were all using me as their tester.  I love it!  I love being the food tester boy! 

 

But you're right, if I tell one grand mother that her cake is good I have to tell the other one the same thing.  Am I lying, "no".  but they always try to "out do" each other.

 

I usually eat in the kitchen, closer to the food, for the holiday's but this past weekend I was at the "big folks" table.  I asked for a slice of ham that my fathers mother made, when my cousin passed my plate (from the right) my mothers mother said, "don't eat to much of that, you need to save room for my pernil. I put extra some extra kick in it because I know that how you boys like it."

 

I ate so much I stupidly said, "oh laaaaawd, I don't think I can eat another thing".  My cousin who lives next door to me said, "me either".  Before I could push my chair back, my fathers mother said, "I know ya'll have room for my sweet potato pie"  next thing I know, I had a slice of German Choc cake, a slice of coconut pie and piece of sweet potato pie in front of me.  In addition, there is flan in the fridge.  All I could say was, "mami you know I love your cake."  About 10 minutes later when I was taking out the trash, my fathers mother said, "I know you said you liked your mother cake because she was sitting there, but I know you grammys sweet potato pie better.  Now hurry up and close that door before you let all the heat out."

 

It goes, on and on and on.  I love it.  :angel:

Apparently at some point I checked out Yahoo personals, but I don't remember when that was.  Every few months they lob me one of these:

 

I won't meet women online. I did meet a gorgeous girl - literally the most gorgeous girl I've ever met, through facebook a few years ago but it ended up being a disaster. The best place to meet people is at work or through friends, imo. It gives you a common ground. Make friends with any chick you can have a fun time with and genuinely like as a friend - hang out with her and go after her more desirable friends.

I dunno, it doesn't bother me to meet people from on line. I don't go to bars or clubs so sometimes it can be hard to meet guys. So I'll get on line, chat with friends and some new people and go from there. Because of this, I've meet a few good friends on line (Gay.com,outincolumbus, bear411 and so on) and I've dated a few guys that I first talked to a b411 and a few other sites. The guy I'm seeing now I actually meet on bear411. So far so good.