Thought-provoking glurge from the purported pen of Paul Harvey:

 

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- We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better.

 

- I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.

 

- I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.

 

- I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.

 

- And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.

 

- It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.

 

- I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.

 

- I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.

 

- When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.

 

- I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.

 

- On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.

 

- If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.

 

- I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.

 

- When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.

 

- I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy/girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.

 

- May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

 

- I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.

 

- I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.

 

- May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.

 

- I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.

 

- These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.

Has this been made into a cube-shaped calendar yet?

 

My guess would be kitten-shaped.

Thought-provoking glurge from the purported pen of Paul Harvey:

 

- I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it.

 

I guess Paul Harvey is probably not going to enjoy my parties. :drunk:

I believe Paul Harvey is a Scotch Man.