This isnt youre graduation party or your childs party, so why do you feel the need to have it broken up by the police (which is what they will do). I highly doubt they take the resources to go over to this familys house and have a talk with them about how they shouldnt give alcohol to underagers. Your child got the invite to the party, if you dont want him/her going then thats fine, but i dont see the need to get the police involved. And if you do call them, i hope that no one under 21 is drinking when the police show up to try to bust this thing up.

 

ummmm, my guess is, giving/serving "spirits" to a minor/a person under 21 is illegal!

 

Then let the family that is throwing the party deal with whatever punishment/consequences come there way.

 

 

This isnt youre graduation party or your childs party, so why do you feel the need to have this graduation party broken up by the police (which is what they will do). I highly doubt they take the resources to go over to this familys house and have a talk with them about how they shouldnt give alcohol to underagers. Your child got the invite to the party, if you dont want him/her going then thats fine, but i dont see the need to get the police involved. And if you do call them, i hope that no one under 21 is drinking when the police show up to try to bust this thing up.

 

It's at a public park. People will have to drive home from here. 30 year olds can't handle the responsibility of having a designated driver. Do you think 18 year olds will? Something could happen to these kids driving home, and (even worse IMO) a completely innocent person could be hurt or killed by their stupid decisions. If these people are truly dumb enough to advertise this, I doubt they make good enough decisions to keep everyone safe. Besides, there are probably going to be 16 and 17 yearf olds at the party as well, many graduating seniors have some younger friends.

 

I know many 18, 24, 30, 35, whatever age, responsible enough to have a DD in place, and if they cant find one or something happens then theyll call a cab. Every grad party i went to when i graduated high school 6 years ago we had a DD if we knew beer was being served. The fact that it is at a public park probably means rangers will be patrolling, if they feel the need then they will go up and put an end to the whole thing. Also, how do you know that the parents throwing this party wont make sure that those who drove do not drink??

FYI:it is not illegal in Ohio to have a parent serve alcohol to their children. For instance, many European families have wine with dinner, so it is not illeagal to have the parent serve wine to thier child.

 

Thanks for that info, but the key words are

 

a parent serve alcohol to their children.

 

 

 

 

And parents will have that option, some parents may want to join thier children and supervise them as they have a few beers at a party, perhaps teach a lesson in moderation.  Some parents will not want to, and restrict thier children from going.

 

This is, unless DanB decides for everyone and has the police raid the party

Why doesn't DanB just call the damn parents and see what's what? 

Why doesn't DanB just call the damn parents and see what's what?

 

Thats too easy and makes too much sense

This isnt youre graduation party or your childs party, so why do you feel the need to have it broken up by the police (which is what they will do). I highly doubt they take the resources to go over to this familys house and have a talk with them about how they shouldnt give alcohol to underagers. Your child got the invite to the party, if you dont want him/her going then thats fine, but i dont see the need to get the police involved. And if you do call them, i hope that no one under 21 is drinking when the police show up to try to bust this thing up.

 

ummmm, my guess is, giving/serving "spirits" to a minor/a person under 21 is illegal!

 

Then let the family that is throwing the party deal with whatever punishment/consequences come there way.

 

Whoa..whoa.

 

So if someone attending that "party" drives off the park grounds and has an accident, causes an accident - due to alcohol - the family is suppose to take responsibility.  What about the family/families that potentially could lose a loved one???  What do you tell them?

 

My uncle was murdered by a drunk driver and dragged 13 blocks down Lorain.  There is nothing anyone can say to my Aunt to bring him back.  My Aunt lost her husband, my cousins lost their father.  My youngest cousin never even knew her father as my aunt discovered she was pregnant while in the hospital making arrangement to take my uncle off life support.

 

Why doesn't DanB just call the damn parents and see what's what? 

 

Thats too easy and makes too much sense

 

If you look up thread, I think that is what Dan said he would do.

I don't know who the parents are, and don't know where they live.  I've tried to do a search and would have to call up to 100 possible people.

 

Drinking was legal when I graduated from high school.  But what was different then were the laws.  You didn't get arrested for drunk driving, at the most you were yelled at and driven home.

 

Its really not my responsibility to see that these parents police their guests.  As an adult and as a parent it IS my responsibility that nothing happen to any of the kids who got one of these invitations.  I have to assume that I am the only parent who has seen this invitation, which makes it my responsibility.  I would rather have the party broken up by the police and have 100 of the kids charged with underage drinking, than have 1 of them die in a car accident.

 

Drinking at this party has nothing whatsoever to do with going to war, or the legal drinking age.  Other topics for other threads.

This isnt youre graduation party or your childs party, so why do you feel the need to have it broken up by the police (which is what they will do). I highly doubt they take the resources to go over to this familys house and have a talk with them about how they shouldnt give alcohol to underagers. Your child got the invite to the party, if you dont want him/her going then thats fine, but i dont see the need to get the police involved. And if you do call them, i hope that no one under 21 is drinking when the police show up to try to bust this thing up.

 

ummmm, my guess is, giving/serving "spirits" to a minor/a person under 21 is illegal!

 

Then let the family that is throwing the party deal with whatever punishment/consequences come there way.

 

Whoa..whoa.

 

So if someone attending that "party" drives off the park grounds and has an accident, causes an accident - due to alcohol - the family is suppose to take responsibility. What about the family/families that potentially could lose a loved one??? What do you tell them?

 

My uncle was murdered by a drunk driver and dragged 13 blocks down Lorain. There is nothing anyone can say to my Aunt to bring him back. My Aunt lost her husband, my cousins lost their father. My youngest cousin never even knew her father as my aunt discovered she was pregnant while in the hospital making arrangement to take my uncle off life support.

 

 

That's a damn shame, really.  But at the same time, that's like having a mad on to report every jaywalker you see, because a relative stepped out in front of a bus once.  You're not responsible for other parents' children.  You can only be responsible for your own.

 

What you can do is bring it to the attention of the actual parents.  Let them be aware that aside from the fact that underage drinking is illegal, it's also dangerous.  You do that, you've fullfilled your responsibility.

This isnt youre graduation party or your childs party, so why do you feel the need to have it broken up by the police (which is what they will do). I highly doubt they take the resources to go over to this familys house and have a talk with them about how they shouldnt give alcohol to underagers. Your child got the invite to the party, if you dont want him/her going then thats fine, but i dont see the need to get the police involved. And if you do call them, i hope that no one under 21 is drinking when the police show up to try to bust this thing up.

 

ummmm, my guess is, giving/serving "spirits" to a minor/a person under 21 is illegal!

 

Then let the family that is throwing the party deal with whatever punishment/consequences come there way.

 

Whoa..whoa.

 

So if someone attending that "party" drives off the park grounds and has an accident, causes an accident - due to alcohol - the family is suppose to take responsibility. What about the family/families that potentially could lose a loved one??? What do you tell them?

 

My uncle was murdered by a drunk driver and dragged 13 blocks down Lorain. There is nothing anyone can say to my Aunt to bring him back. My Aunt lost her husband, my cousins lost their father. My youngest cousin never even knew her father as my aunt discovered she was pregnant while in the hospital making arrangement to take my uncle off life support.

 

 

While that is a really sad and unfortunate thing to happen and dont wish it upon anyone, you are responsible for your child and make decisions for your child. Keep your kid away from this party if you dont want them going. Call the parents who are throwing the party and get their side of the story for this party, and then leave it.

Call the hosts of the party and find out the facts before you assume what is going on.  Then decide what to do, but you already have my opinion

I don't know who the parents are, and don't know where they live. I've tried to do a search and would have to call up to 100 possible people.

 

Drinking was legal when I graduated from high school. But what was different then were the laws. You didn't get arrested for drunk driving, at the most you were yelled at and driven home.

 

Its really not my responsibility to see that these parents police their guests. As an adult and as a parent it IS my responsibility that nothing happen to any of the kids who got one of these invitations. I have to assume that I am the only parent who has seen this invitation, which makes it my responsibility. I would rather have the party broken up by the police and have 100 of the kids charged with underage drinking, than have 1 of them die in a car accident.

 

Drinking at this party has nothing whatsoever to do with going to war, or the legal drinking age. Other topics for other threads.

 

Your positions on these issues direct an obvious conclusion, no?  You have to call the police.  It's not what I would do, but it's what you would do, so do it.  As you said... you won't feel right if you don't.  We aren't really talking about this party, we're talking about the larger philosophical issues at play, the ones from the other thread(s).  Your beliefs on those issues apparently demand that you intervene in this person's graduation party. 

While that is a really sad and unfortunate thing to happen and dont wish it upon anyone, you are responsible for your child and make decisions for your child. Keep your kid away from this party if you dont want them going. Call the parents who are throwing the party and get their side of the story for this party, and then leave it.

 

Call the hosts of the party and find out the facts before you assume what is going on.  Then decide what to do, but you already have my opinion

 

I have a feeling we're all think that's what Dan should do.

 

If there is not contact information, do like my brother, he makes the kids take him to the parents house.

And after you do contact the parents, DanB, let me know where the party's at.  Free booze!

My uncle was murdered by a drunk driver and dragged 13 blocks down Lorain.  There is nothing anyone can say to my Aunt to bring him back.  My Aunt lost her husband, my cousins lost their father.  My youngest cousin never even knew her father as my aunt discovered she was pregnant while in the hospital making arrangement to take my uncle off life support.

 

 

That's a shame.  I was almost killed by a drunk driver once.  My back is still f-'d up.  He was in his 50's.

It's interesting to see the response to this from those 30 and under and how they mostly on one side of the spectrum from those 31 and up.

 

I'm taking the same side as you, are you trying to say I'm old?

My uncle was murdered by a drunk driver and dragged 13 blocks down Lorain.  There is nothing anyone can say to my Aunt to bring him back.  My Aunt lost her husband, my cousins lost their father.  My youngest cousin never even knew her father as my aunt discovered she was pregnant while in the hospital making arrangement to take my uncle off life support.

 

 

That's a shame.  I was almost killed by a drunk driver once.  My back is still f-'d up.  He was in his 50's.

 

What happened, that's terrible.  Back issues never go away.

 

The guy that murdered my uncle was a "known" drunk.  A worker at the WSM witnessed the entire thing.

But at the same time, that's like having a mad on to report every jaywalker you see, because a relative stepped out in front of a bus once.  You're not responsible for other parents' children.  You can only be responsible for your own.

A jaywalker can't cause serious harm or kill someone else. If someone is doing something that could cause themselves harm, like jaywalking, and you don't feel like mentioning it to someone, that's your business. On the other hand, if someone is doing something that could cause serious harm to other people, like drinking and driving, there is no excuse for ignoring it. Your lack of moral courage shouldn't allow the endangering of others.

 

That tellin' him grumpy smurf!

It's interesting to see the response to this from those 30 and under and how they mostly on one side of the spectrum from those 31 and up.

 

I'm taking the same side as you, are you trying to say I'm old?

 

Old no. Used maybe. LOL

And parents will have that option, some parents may want to join thier children and supervise them as they have a few beers at a party, perhaps teach a lesson in moderation.

 

Riiiiight.  I've seen enough of these parties to know the chances of that being reality are about one in a billion.

Seriously?  You never had a beer with your family, or your family and family friends?  (or once in the billion parties you have been to)

 

Drinking does not mean drunk.

 

What is more likely to produce drunk drivers, a supervised party for graduating seniors or a 21st birthday party not supervised by anyone?

Seriously?  You never had a beer with your family, or your family and family friends?  (or once in the billion parties you have been to)

 

Drinking does not mean drunk.

 

What is more likely to produce drunk drivers, a supervised party for graduating seniors or a 21st birthday party not supervised by anyone?

 

I didn't drink with family or family friends until I was over 21.

Seriously? You never had a beer with your family, or your family and family friends? (or once in the billion parties you have been to)

 

Drinking does not mean drunk.

 

What is more likely to produce drunk drivers, a supervised party for graduating seniors or a 21st birthday party not supervised by anyone?

 

There is a big difference between your parents and some friends giving you a few drinks, and advertising a graduation party at a public park as having alcohol. I know from experience there is about a 99% chance this is going to be an underage drunkfest enabled by a small set of parents. I have seen it over and over again. I could be wrong, but I'd be shocked.

 

I'm an advocate for the drinking age to be lowered to 18, but I still think it'd be wrong to have a HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION PARTY in a PUBLIC PARK with invitations being sent out to high school age kids advertising free alcohol.  That right there tells me enough about the judgement of the adults involved.

Seriously?  You never had a beer with your family, or your family and family friends?  (or once in the billion parties you have been to)

 

Drinking does not mean drunk.

 

What is more likely to produce drunk drivers, a supervised party for graduating seniors or a 21st birthday party not supervised by anyone?

 

There is a big difference between your parents and some friends giving you a few drinks, and advertising a graduation party at a public park as having alcohol.  I know from experience there is about a 99% chance this is going to be an underage drunkfest enabled by a small set of parents.  I have seen it over and over again.  I could be wrong, but I'd be shocked.

 

I'm an advocate for the drinking age to be lowered to 18, but I still think it'd be wrong to have a HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION PARTY in a PUBLIC PARK with invitations being sent out to high school age kids advertising free alcohol.  That right there tells me enough about the judgement of the adults involved.

 

Which is why the most likely scenario involves the adults partaking, while the kids run around playing ultimate frisbee or something.

 

And one other point: you're all assuming that DanB's kid and his kid's friends are the types to have a drunken mess of a party.  What if DanB's kid is a--for lack of a better term--loser?  Anyone ever think of that?  Maybe they like to sit around drinking Mountain Dew and playing D&D. 

Which is why the most likely scenario involves the adults partaking, while the kids run around playing ultimate frisbee or something.

 

I highly doubt it, judging from the parties I have been to or been invited to.  I am shocked at how many parents are so worried about what their kids and kids' friends think of them that they abandon all judgement so their kids will think they're cool.  And from what I've seen, it gets worse the more suburban an area is.

 

And one other point: you're all assuming that DanB's kid and his kid's friends are the types to have a drunken mess of a party. What if DanB's kid is a--for lack of a better term--loser? Anyone ever think of that? Maybe they like to sit around drinking Mountain Dew and playing D&D.

 

In that case, DanB probably would not be so worried about what would be going on at the party.

except we can't get past that this party is clearly illegal. likely having it open in the park is illegal too, i dk, but for sure advertising and inviting minors to it is. now it may or may not be condoned by the parents, but why stir that hornet's nest if it is? i mean, if you call them directly the parents could be clueless and reasonable or they could be insane vindictive meth heads (gulp, where's yikes girl when we need her?).

 

i'm just saying be wary and play it out a little before you pick up that phone and call them. now i don't want to think they would take it out on your family, but who the hail knows these days? you have to consider any reaction. or what if they just say "hells yeah we like to paaaar-tay dewd!" then what are you going to do?

 

so i say if you want to take action, well then just talk to the cops about it. that's what they are for, dealing with illegal activities. maybe there is even an anonymous no-tell number you could call? if so they give you a number and you can even call back later and find out the follow-up.

 

good luck, no question its tough being a parent!

 

 

It's not illegal to bring alcohol into a park if you have a permit.  It's also not hard to get a permit for that.

well that answers that, but it was a quibble vs the alcohol/minors dilemma.

well that answers that, but it was a quibble vs the alcohol/minors dilemma.

 

There is no concrete evidence that suggests that the alcohol mentioned in the invitation is to be served to minors.

well that answers that, but it was a quibble vs the alcohol/minors dilemma.

 

There is no concrete evidence that suggests that the alcohol mentioned in the invitation is to be served to minors.

 

well there is no concrete evidence that adults even made the invitation either, but as alcohol is being served a parent would err on the side of safety, common sense and lawfulness with their child.

 

I went to grad parties with open bars, and as long as the parents are there, it was never an issue.  Then again, these took place at people's homes, and not parks where there could be much greater punishment.  Honestly, as a recent teen myself, I would be mortified if my parents called the parents, much less the cops.  Think about it, most of these kids are probably going to college, where they will no doubt be drinking under age.  They also have probably been drinking for some time in HS, as most everyone I knew in HS drank from about 16 on.  The last thing you would want to do is call the cops and have these kids get arrested for a) underage drinking and b) drinking in public/public intoxication.  If these kids got arrested right before college they could lose scholarships, and in some cases even have their acceptance revoked. 

 

I understand not letting your daughter go; that's a family decision, but you can't hold yourself responsible for what other people's kids do.  Trust that other people will exercise the same judgement that you are, and make the decision that is best for their kid.

^Sorry, that doesn't cut it.  I can imagine a parent crying at the funeral, saying if someone had only known and put a stop to it.

Even though many of the UO grown ups probably drank when we were underage, there are obviously some generational differences on here with how to handle this situation. Probably b/c we are so many years from that.  If Dad gives a heads up to the police responsible for the park it will likely pull the plug on the drinking before it starts and PREVENT arrests that could occur if he just let it happen. Chances are the kids would  act like ding dongs after they had a couple and someone at the park would call the cops anyway. I sure would if I saw drunk kids (I assume some of people would be under 18 too) at a park.  I cannot stand drunk driving.

 

As far as the kid being mortified, who cares, that is life. It is the natural order of things for parents (esp ones like dan b) to embarrass their children.  It never really ends until they are gone, and you wish they were around to do it.

Dan,

 

I think my parents were in the same boat back when I was 18 and went to a party that served alcohol.  The graduate lived on a large estate set way back from the road.  There was to be a bonfire, plenty of beer, and attendees were forced to hand over keys to gain access to a barn where all the alcohol was.  People were allowed to stay overnight at the house, and the family kept the guys in the basement and the girls on the second floor. 

 

There were a few designated drivers for anyone who chose to leave, and I did end up drinking that night, though I didn't get drunk.  It was the first time ever drank openly at a party.  Nothing bad happened that night, so there were never any complaints.  At the time I felt there was nothing wrong with this party.

 

 

Now 7 years later, I might think differently.  I think it's too risky, and I don't think alcoholic beverages are appropriate for a high school graduation.  They have plenty of time to drink when they get off to college whether parents like it or not.  And if the law slaps them in the face, they deal with the consequences themselves.

 

 

I think the venue is a bad choice if these types of beverages are served.  I think this party in particular will no doubt be popular, and if a park official or officer were to pass on through during normal patrols, a bunch of teens near alcohol will be suspect.

 

I'm sure your daughter would be quite angry if you didn't let her go.  I'm only 25, yet I think if I had a kid I probably wouldn't let them go to this.  If you do, you'd have to make sure she does not take a single drink of alcohol.  I hope you have a lot of trust.

 

 

 

I went to grad parties with open bars, and as long as the parents are there, it was never an issue.  Then again, these took place at people's homes, and not parks where there could be much greater punishment.  Honestly, as a recent teen myself, I would be mortified if my parents called the parents, much less the cops.  Think about it, most of these kids are probably going to college, where they will no doubt be drinking under age.  They also have probably been drinking for some time in HS, as most everyone I knew in HS drank from about 16 on.  The last thing you would want to do is call the cops and have these kids get arrested for a) underage drinking and b) drinking in public/public intoxication.  If these kids got arrested right before college they could lose scholarships, and in some cases even have their acceptance revoked. 

 

I understand not letting your daughter go; that's a family decision, but you can't hold yourself responsible for what other people's kids do.  Trust that other people will exercise the same judgement that you are, and make the decision that is best for their kid.

 

I just have to ask, why would you be mortified? Because your parents are concerned for there kids or what the familly and kids would think? :wtf:

 

Please, please tell me you dont think people should "look the other way", if these were poor inner city kids (of color), do you know what people would say? 

 

This is exactly the point I want to get across with my first couple of posts.  If you drink, there are consequences.  This is about knowing and doing what is right.  If you know  you're not old enough to drink then why do it?  I don't want to hear any BS about pier pressure.  Also, why are 16 year olds drinking anyway?  Again, I don't want to hear any pier pressure excuses.

 

This is about choices.  If you make the wrong choice, you have to live with the consequences.  Period.

 

Even though many of the UO grown ups probably drank when we were underage, there are obviously some generational differences on here with how to handle this situation. Probably b/c we are so many years from that.  If Dad gives a heads up to the police responsible for the park it will likely pull the plug on the drinking before it starts and PREVENT arrests that could occur if he just let it happen. Chances are the kids would  act like ding dongs after they had a couple and someone at the park would call the cops anyway. I sure would if I saw drunk kids (I assume some of people would be under 18 too) at a park.  I cannot stand drunk driving.

 

As far as the kid being mortified, who cares, that is life. It is the natural order of things for parents (esp ones like dan b) to embarrass their children.  It never really ends until they are gone, and you wish they were around to do it.

 

Amen!  There are things my parents did when I was a kid and at that time I thought they were just being overbearing and controlling.  Today I thank God my parents were so involved in my life. 

 

My mother walked me to school/went to school with me on the first and last of school, from K thru 12!  Every year. Embarrasing, yes.  When I tell her it wasn't necessary to go to school with me and that it was embarrassing, her response, "It's a feeling, it'll shall.  Now lets go dear, you don't want to be late on the first day of classes."

 

I wont act like underage drinking does not happen, this jogged my memory and I can remember being at a party (my junior year) in HS, were my uncle crashed the party, told my cousins, me and my brother to get the hell out AND told some black celebs kids (one a football players kid, two from an entertainment family and one a local newscasters kid)  that their b---k @sses should not be here either cause "he knew" their parents would not want them in that environment and raised them to have some damn common sense.

 

The parents acted like they didn't know what was going on.  Granted, my uncle did call them irresponsible a--holes.  My uncle then called the parents of kids he knew.  Some kids at school the next Monday, said my uncle was a narc and tried to start some shit with my cousin, but he wasn't having it.

 

We lived.  I supsect kids today will also.

Dan,

 

I think my parents were in the same boat back when I was 18 and went to a party that served alcohol.  The graduate lived on a large estate set way back from the road.  There was to be a bonfire, plenty of beer, and attendees were forced to hand over keys to gain access to a barn where all the alcohol was.  People were allowed to stay overnight at the house, and the family kept the guys in the basement and the girls on the second floor. 

 

There were a few designated drivers for anyone who chose to leave, and I did end up drinking that night, though I didn't get drunk.  It was the first time ever drank openly at a party.  Nothing bad happened that night, so there were never any complaints.  At the time I felt there was nothing wrong with this party.

 

 

Now 7 years later, I might think differently.  I think it's too risky, and I don't think alcoholic beverages are appropriate for a high school graduation.  They have plenty of time to drink when they get off to college whether parents like it or not.  And if the law slaps them in the face, they deal with the consequences themselves.

 

 

I think the venue is a bad choice if these types of beverages are served.  I think this party in particular will no doubt be popular, and if a park official or officer were to pass on through during normal patrols, a bunch of teens near alcohol will be suspect.

 

I'm sure your daughter would be quite angry if you didn't let her go. I'm only 25, yet I think if I had a kid I probably wouldn't let them go to this.  If you do, you'd have to make sure she does not take a single drink of alcohol.  I hope you have a lot of trust.

 

 

 

One thing I learned as a kid - I didn't have a real right to be angry at my parents when they told me I couldn't do or have something.  I live in their home, they fed, clothed and insured me.  Kids need to understand that. 

 

 

^yeah they are pretty self absorbed though (as we were I am sure)

It's kind of interesting when you get out and grow up and start paying for things yourself.  You rarely argue with the parents. 

 

 

well that answers that, but it was a quibble vs the alcohol/minors dilemma.

 

There is no concrete evidence that suggests that the alcohol mentioned in the invitation is to be served to minors.

 

well there is no concrete evidence that adults even made the invitation either, but as alcohol is being served a parent would err on the side of safety, common sense and lawfulness with their child.

 

 

And do the sensible thing like call the parents of the host and find out for himself what the party is about instead of creating a goofy thread on a message board?  In this we are in agreement.  :)

There really is no "right" or "wrong" thing to do in this situation.  And your picturing a child dying in a DUI as a result of you not telling anyone is a bit melodramatic, wouldn't you say? You can't control what other people do, and it's really not your business what they do.  Control your own daughter as you wish, but don't think you have to be the moral authority for everyone else.  And MTS, just because you grew up in a strict household doesn't mean that every one that didn't has inferior morals, or an inferior up bringing.

There really is no "right" or "wrong" thing to do in this situation.  And your picturing a child dying in a DUI as a result of you not telling anyone is a bit melodramatic, wouldn't you say? You can't control what other people do, and it's really not your business what they do.  Control your own daughter as you wish, but don't think you have to be the moral authority for everyone else.  And MTS, just because you grew up in a strict household doesn't mean that every one that didn't has inferior morals, or an inferior up bringing.

 

I believe that is a weak argument. If a child does drink, who doesn't drink on the regular, it impairs his/her judgment. In a situation like this, its better to be safe then sorry!

 

No he can't control what others do, which is why (i believe) he is concerned about the possibility of underaged drinking.

 

I did grow up in a strict household, and at a different time.  Ad peabody said, there is a generational gap as well.  IN my opinion, todays parents do lack parenting skills.  As said earlier they at times want to be friends with their kids.  If I saw my nephews, nieces or cousins kids with alcohol, Id open up a can of whump@ss so fast.

 

Okay, as I've read through this I've revised my position a bit.

 

Basically...call the parents and simply ask. If the alcohol is attended for adults only, I'd still say go with your daughter to ensure the rule is followed. If it is intended for the kids as well, obviously don't let her go.

 

We had alcohol at my grad party...for adults. We didn't advertise it but we didn't really monitor it either. However, my party wasn't very big and was held in our back yard. Would've been pretty easy to spot a 18 year trying to sneak a beer. I'm sure if my parents had seen it, they wouldn't have allowed it.

 

I haven't put "alcohol will be served" on a party invitation since I was 20. This info is clearly NOT for the adults in attendance.

There really is no "right" or "wrong" thing to do in this situation.  And your picturing a child dying in a DUI as a result of you not telling anyone is a bit melodramatic, wouldn't you say? You can't control what other people do, and it's really not your business what they do.  Control your own daughter as you wish, but don't think you have to be the moral authority for everyone else.  And MTS, just because you grew up in a strict household doesn't mean that every one that didn't has inferior morals, or an inferior up bringing.

 

What is with this "don't snitch" attitude with regards to underrage drinking?  If someone told you they were going to commit a crime, shouldn't you notify the police?  Similarly, if an invitation goes out, presumably to many, many high school age kids as most graduation parties are, and is advertising underrage drinking in a public park, shouldn't the police be notified?  If nothing wrong is going on, a quick drive by by a ranger or policeman would probably easily confirm that.  If it's a wild drunkfest as most of these turn into, then it rightfully should be broken up.

There really is no "right" or "wrong" thing to do in this situation. And your picturing a child dying in a DUI as a result of you not telling anyone is a bit melodramatic, wouldn't you say? You can't control what other people do, and it's really not your business what they do. Control your own daughter as you wish, but don't think you have to be the moral authority for everyone else. And MTS, just because you grew up in a strict household doesn't mean that every one that didn't has inferior morals, or an inferior up bringing.

 

What is with this "don't snitch" attitude with regards to underrage drinking? If someone told you they were going to commit a crime, shouldn't you notify the police? Similarly, if an invitation goes out, presumably to many, many high school age kids as most graduation parties are, and is advertising underrage drinking in a public park, shouldn't the police be notified? If nothing wrong is going on, a quick drive by by a ranger or policeman would probably easily confirm that. If it's a wild drunkfest as most of these turn into, then it rightfully should be broken up.

 

I think its because most parents with kids in their 18-21 age range were legally allowed to drink when they were kids, and feel like they know what is best for their kid, not a law. I also feel like its because of the difference in laws throughout the world regarding the legal age to drink. if parents dont see the problem with an 18 year old drinking then why would they call the police to turn someone else in. It should be the parents decision whether an 18 year old is allowed to drink, not the law

Keep in mind that there will most likely be a large contingent of kids under 18 at the party as well.  And what is this, Civil Disobedience?

^^And it will be the parents who go down in flames for serving alcohol to minors. But that's okay; when mom and dad bring disgrace upon their employers and are fired, it will teach the little graduate an important lesson in paying one's own way through college. Everybody wins!

There really is no "right" or "wrong" thing to do in this situation.  And your picturing a child dying in a DUI as a result of you not telling anyone is a bit melodramatic, wouldn't you say? You can't control what other people do, and it's really not your business what they do.  Control your own daughter as you wish, but don't think you have to be the moral authority for everyone else.  And MTS, just because you grew up in a strict household doesn't mean that every one that didn't has inferior morals, or an inferior up bringing.

 

What is with this "don't snitch" attitude with regards to underrage drinking?  If someone told you they were going to commit a crime, shouldn't you notify the police?  Similarly, if an invitation goes out, presumably to many, many high school age kids as most graduation parties are, and is advertising underrage drinking in a public park, shouldn't the police be notified?  If nothing wrong is going on, a quick drive by by a ranger or policeman would probably easily confirm that.  If it's a wild drunkfest as most of these turn into, then it rightfully should be broken up.

 

I think its because most parents with kids in their 18-21 age range were legally allowed to drink when they were kids, and feel like they know what is best for their kid, not a law. I also feel like its because of the difference in laws throughout the world regarding the legal age to drink. if parents dont see the problem with an 18 year old drinking then why would they call the police to turn someone else in. It should be the parents decision whether an 18 year old is allowed to drink, not the law

 

What you "think" and "feel" have no bearing on the law.

 

Why do you fail to see, this isn't about one family letting their child/children have a drink in the privacy of their home.

 

This is a party in a public park where alcohol will be served/available to teens.

 

It shoulda, woulda, coulda, but the majority rules in a democracy.  If you don't like the law, then work to have it changed.  Abide or do time.

There really is no "right" or "wrong" thing to do in this situation.  And your picturing a child dying in a DUI as a result of you not telling anyone is a bit melodramatic, wouldn't you say? You can't control what other people do, and it's really not your business what they do.  Control your own daughter as you wish, but don't think you have to be the moral authority for everyone else.  And MTS, just because you grew up in a strict household doesn't mean that every one that didn't has inferior morals, or an inferior up bringing.

 

What is with this "don't snitch" attitude with regards to underrage drinking?  If someone told you they were going to commit a crime, shouldn't you notify the police?  Similarly, if an invitation goes out, presumably to many, many high school age kids as most graduation parties are, and is advertising underrage drinking in a public park, shouldn't the police be notified?  If nothing wrong is going on, a quick drive by by a ranger or policeman would probably easily confirm that.  If it's a wild drunkfest as most of these turn into, then it rightfully should be broken up.

 

I think its because most parents with kids in their 18-21 age range were legally allowed to drink when they were kids, and feel like they know what is best for their kid, not a law. I also feel like its because of the difference in laws throughout the world regarding the legal age to drink. if parents dont see the problem with an 18 year old drinking then why would they call the police to turn someone else in. It should be the parents decision whether an 18 year old is allowed to drink, not the law

 

What you "think" and "feel" have no bearing on the law.

 

Why do you fail to see, this isn't about one family letting their child/children have a drink in the privacy of their home.

 

This is a party in a public park where alcohol will be served/available to teens.

 

It shoulda, woulda, coulda, but the majority rules in a democracy.  If you don't like the law, then work to have it changed.  Abide or do time.

 

Ive said it before, if it is in a public park then the rangers who patrol the park will more than likely come across it and put in end to it.

 

Im not going to *snitch* and call the police for something i did when i was underage. The only thing i would do is call the parents and find out the truth to what the 'drinks will be provided' on the invitation meant, thats it. If it means that theyre allowing underagers to drink then DanB's child will not be there. If it means that drinks are provided for 21 and up then it was a very poor choice or words, or lack thereof, on the invitation.

I know my cousin who is 17 drinks on the weekends but im not snitching on her, not even to my aunt and uncle. But she knows damn well that she CANNOT and WILL NOT drive under any circumstances once shes had a drink. And if she has then she is to call me if she needs a ride, regardless of time of day or where she is at.

Ive said it before, if it is in a public park then the rangers who patrol the park will more than likely come across it and put in end to it.

 

Im not going to *snitch* and call the police for something i did when i was underage. The only thing i would do is call the parents and find out the truth to what the 'drinks will be provided' on the invitation meant, thats it. If it means that theyre allowing underagers to drink then DanB's child will not be there. If it means that drinks are provided for 21 and up then it was a very poor choice or words, or lack thereof, on the invitation.

I know my cousin who is 17 drinks on the weekends but im not snitching on her, not even to my aunt and uncle. But she knows damn well that she CANNOT and WILL NOT drive under any circumstances once shes had a drink. And if she has then she is to call me if she needs a ride, regardless of time of day or where she is at.

 

This is a prime example of our generational differences.

Ive said it before, if it is in a public park then the rangers who patrol the park will more than likely come across it and put in end to it.

 

Im not going to *snitch* and call the police for something i did when i was underage. The only thing i would do is call the parents and find out the truth to what the 'drinks will be provided' on the invitation meant, thats it. If it means that theyre allowing underagers to drink then DanB's child will not be there. If it means that drinks are provided for 21 and up then it was a very poor choice or words, or lack thereof, on the invitation.

I know my cousin who is 17 drinks on the weekends but im not snitching on her, not even to my aunt and uncle. But she knows damn well that she CANNOT and WILL NOT drive under any circumstances once shes had a drink. And if she has then she is to call me if she needs a ride, regardless of time of day or where she is at.

 

This is a prime example of our generational differences.

 

Exactly, and i dont see there being anything wrong with it either (our different views that is).

Like i said in the other thread about underage drinking, my mom told me the same thing i told my cousin, if youre going to drink do it responsibly and call me if you need a ride. I trust her to make the right decision, and until she does something to prove otherwise, ill continue to trust her

Truthiness aside, it's illegal to furnish minors with alcoholic beverages. Period.

Truthiness aside, it's illegal to furnish minors with alcoholic beverages. Period.

 

Why is this difficult?  It is NOT illegal to furnish minors with alcoholic beverages UNLESS said minors are not under the direct guardianship of the adult.